In search of a present for Brody’s surprise birthday party, Kristin and Stacie go to the Hustler Hollywood store. Kristin thinks it would be funny to buy Brody a collar and a whip, “because he’s so whipped on Jayde.” While the girls play around with the kinky merchandise, they talk about Kristin and Brody’s love life when they were a couple. Kristin laments that they didn’t use whips and things in the bedroom, and their sex life was “vanilla.” As the girls continue to shop, Kristin tells Stacie that she’s thinking of bringing Justin Bobby to Brody’s party. Stacie suggests she buy some chaps to wear for her new bad boy.

Kristin doesn’t buy chaps, but does invite Justin to the party after a day of frolicking, flirting and wine drinking on the beach. Meanwhile, Stephanie and Audrina go to Recess nail spa for pedicures. Stephanie tells Audrina she needs to start dating again. Audrina agrees and says she just needed to get her head straight after she broke things off with Justin. She goes on to tell Stephanie that she ran into Derek, Justin’s best friend, who wants to go on a lunch date with her. Stephanie says she approves because Derek is hot, but thinks her date might just be payback for Justin dating Kristin. Audrina explains that she and Derek have always talked and Justin always thought Derek had a thing for her. Since Derek and Justin are such close friends, Stephanie says she is concerned that Audrina will get into another relationship with a cocky guy. Audrina assures Stephanie that she knows what she does and does not want.

Over in Malibu, Brody’s surprise party is in full swing. When Kristin arrives, everyone wants to know if Justin is coming, too. Kristin gets a reprieve from the chatter about Justin’s whereabouts when Brody arrives, but when the birthday boy goes inside to change Lo and Stephanie use the lull to ask Kristin if she’s officially dating Justin. Kristin confirms the rumor.

Later on, the boys are having a water fight at the party and Kristin gets hit in the face with a water balloon. Brody and his mom go over to Kristin to see if she is hurt. When Kristin makes it clear that she’s alright, Brody asks her why “her man” Justin still isn’t at the party. Brody’s mother interjects, and says that Justin isn’t her man but he’d be lucky if he were. Then she gives Kristin a big hug. Jayde quickly interrupts the ex-girlfriend and mother moment by demanding Brody open his gifts. Brody is excited for Kristin’s kinky gift choices. But things get tense between Brody and Jayde when Kristin invites everyone to her place for an after party. Jayde wants Brody to go to a birthday dinner instead of more partying. When Brody insists he’s going, Jayde gets mad and walks away from the party upset. Brody yells after her, “Leave. We don’t care.”

Back in Hollywood, Justin’s friend Derek picks up Audrina for lunch. On their way to the restaurant, Derek admits he didn’t tell Justin he was taking her out. They start to talk about how Justin used to accuse them of messing around when he and Audrina were together, but Audrina quickly ends that conversation. With a laugh she tells Derek that she’d rather have lunch with him than talk about Justin.

At Heidi and Spencer’s house, Spencer is golfing in his backyard with Charlie. Spencer starts venting about Heidi putting pressure on him to have kids. Charlie tells Spencer that starting a family so soon after getting married is pointless, and Spencer agrees. Spencer says he never would have married Heidi if he knew she wanted to have kids so soon afterward. Spencer goes on to tell Charlie that having a neighbor with two kids makes things worse because Heidi has so much fun with them. As if on cue, six-year-old Enzo interrupts their conversation by wandering into the yard. Spencer and Charlie temporarily get rid of him with a faux game of hide-and-seek. As soon as Enzo is out of earshot Spencer declares he is going to get his tubes tied.

In Malibu, the gang is hanging out at Kristin’s house for her after party. Kristin tells Stephanie and Stacie that she is disappointed Justin didn’t show at Brody’s party. “I really didn’t think I would have feelings for him and get upset,” she says. Kristin isn’t down for too long, because Brody soon arrives with all the guys. “Well if there isn’t a Justin Bobby, there’s a Brody,” she says before Brody finds her for a chat. When Brody reveals that Jayde didn’t come with him, Kristin blames herself. She points out that Brody’s mom was “Team Kristin” throughout the party, so Jayde is probably mad at her. Regardless of the reason, Brody tells Kristin that he his constant fighting with Jayde could end their relationship.

Meanwhile, Heidi and Spencer are out to dinner. Their talk about pets leads to another discussion about having kids. Heidi wants to know what Spencer has against babies, and he tells her that he never knew about her family plans before they got married. Heidi tells Spencer that her mother had one child and was pregnant with another by the time she was 23. Spencer tells Heidi he never wants to have kids, but Heidi is adamant that he does but doesn’t know it yet.

At Stephanie’s apartment she and Audrina are catching up. Audrina tells Stephanie that her date with Derek went well and she really likes him. Audrina says she doesn’t really care what Justin thinks. When Audrina asks Stephanie about Brody’s birthday party, Stephanie tells her Justin stood Kristin up. Audrina says she’s not surprised.

Kristin and Stacie are chatting about Brody’s party at Kristin’s house the next day. Stacie comments on Jayde and Brody’s constant fighting and says Jayde doesn’t seem to like Kristin at all. Kristin says Jayde’s dislike probably stems from Kristin’s close relationship with Brody’s mom. Stacie tells Kristin that she and Brody seem perfect together, but Kristin says they broke up for a reason. When Stacie asks if she spoke to Justin yet, Kristin admits she hasn’t. She also she says won’t wait around for Justin and let him flake on her like he did with Audrina. According to Kristin, the party blow off is strike one.

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[Source: mtv.com]

The hour-long finale of The Hills began with Lauren Conrad and Lo Bosworth packing up their house. Guess now that Lauren is retiring from The Hills, she has to move out of the $2.2 million house MTV was paying for. Just kidding. Maybe.

The roommates decide to throw a final party for their closest friends.



What a perfect opportunity to stage awkward conversations about Spencer and Heidi’s wedding and tie up plot points bring the whole gang together for a fun time. Encouraged by Frankie Delgado to attend the upcoming Speidi wedding, LC responded with, “I’ll be at the next one.” Ohhhhh, snap, Spencer. No way she’s going now, right? Well, don’t be so sure. Because we already know she is. After all, Spencer Pratt is a changed man if you haven’t noticed. He even convinced Heidi Montag’s mom, Darlene, to give him her blessing. Impressive.

Brody Jenner, however, was not buying Spencer’s “nice guy” persona. “You have lost your mind,” Brody laughed during a guys’ lunch with his childhood BFF, who admitted going to marriage counseling. “I have a beautiful relationship with a beautiful girl. We have a great time – we don’t need to go to therapy!”

Notwithstanding cheating on Jayde Nicole with Audrina Patridge, sparking Audzo’s feud with Jayde that has dominated much of this spring, of course. Meanwhile, Heidi was in full wedding-planning mode. Too bad her maid of honor was the most inept, unstable and worthless maid of honor in history.



Amazingly, we are not talking about Stephanie Pratt! Heidi’s big sister Holly Montag had the big title and managed to mess it up at every turn. She didn’t write down the gifts Heidi got at her shower, gave a comically bad speech at the rehearsal dinner, and had an epic, drunken meltdown later.

Absolutely amazing showing, Holly.



Once the big day arrived, all anyone could talk about was whether LC would show up. And she did. A little awkwardly. Their exchange went as follows:

Lauren Conrad: “You’re getting married!”
Heidi Montag: “It’s crazy! And you’re here!”
Lauren Conrad: “I’m supposed to be.”

Read: Because the producers made her. Knowing she’s not returning to The Hills after this particular event, she can’t even hide her disdain and fake it. The guests at the wedding included Justin-Bobby, who clearly did not bother to shower, along with Perez Hilton, Spencer’s Nana and Heidi’s dad, Bill. Oh, and lightning rod Kristin Cavallari, who shockingly returned to the MTV payroll witness the nuptials of the couple she helped set up many years ago. As Lauren Conrad realized that she had been replaced, by Kristin Cavallari, on her own show, and reacted with what appeared to be legitimate disgust, her former rival successfully recaptured the spotlight in a matter of minutes.

She flirted with Justin-Bobby for reasons unknown, rubbed in Audrina’s face that she flirted with him for obvious reasons (no wonder Audrina hates her already), flashed do-me eyes at Brody, glared at LC and caught Heidi’s bouquet.

Oh, and Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag officially tied the knot. Hooray, we guess.

Download “Something Old, Something New” Episode

With a week to go until her dream wedding, Heidi Montag is in full planning mode. The only snag? She wants Lauren Conrad to attend and isn’t sure she will. Naturally, this being The Hills, Heidi asked the utterly useless Stephanie Pratt to invite Lauren, who declined, saying: “I don’t want to be a part of it.” Stephanie hoped she might change her mind when she heard that Lo Bosworth and Audrina Patridge were going, but that only irritated the SoCal cutie more.

Ultimately, Heidi decided to handle it on her own (a novel concept) and delivered an invite to Lauren Conrad at work, begging her to be there on the big day. Lauren Conrad said she felt Heidi Montag was making a mistake.

“It makes me sad to watch you give up everything else in your life,” LC lamented.

“I remember always being so lucky to have you as a friend. You could light up any room. Since you’ve been with him, I have watched that slowly go away.”

When none of her tactics panned out, Heidi Montag turned to the measure of last resport: begging Spencer Pratt to personally apologize to Lauren. Heidi asked him to put his ego aside (good luck) and consider her feelings.



Despite being cool to the idea of saying sorry at first (to put it mildly), Spencer picked up the phone and dailed Lauren Conrad. His apology went as follows …

“This is my first apology in about 24 years. I’m sorry for putting the sex tape rumors out there and for any hurt they caused. I don’t expect you to forgive me, but this girl still has a place in her heart for you. If you show up, it would be life changing for Heidi. But you don’t owe me anything so I don’t expect it.”

There you have it. After all this time, Spencer Pratt has admitted, on film, to spreading the rumors of the Lauren Conrad sex tape (co-starring Jason Wahler). LC heard him out, but didn’t accept his apology or concede either. We have a feeling she will indeed attend the wedding. Because we know she already did. Meanwhile, Stephanie Pratt and her former boss, Kelly Cutrone, had a final showdown at Nylon’s Young Hollywood Party, where Steph once again proved herself to be a complete moron who takes zero responsibility for her own actions. Audrina Patridge was worried about her own awkward run-in as Jayde Nicole and Brody Jenner were also expected there. When they showed, they ignored the ladies, performed some strained PDA and sat in the same area. Pretty standard, really. Jayde said part of her wanted to smash a bottle in Audrina’s face, while Brody said he cared more about staying on good terms with his girlfriend than being friendly with Patridge, who overheard that remark and promptly abandoned the area.

And so the Jayde-Audrina feud continues!

When Lauren Conrad, Audrina Patridge, Stephanie Pratt and Lo Bosworth came up with the idea to “crash” (somehow they knew precisely where to stay) Brody and the guys’ bros-only weekend in Hawaii, we knew some drama was gonna go down.

But not like this.

At first, Brody Jenner seemed upset, to see them, but all was forgiven at the mention of shots. And why shouldn’t it be. It’s Hawaii, and hey, there were now cute girls in bikinis along with surfing and copious quantities of alcohol. Holla! Talk turned to Audrina Patridge and her “hate-love relationship” with that douche Justin-Bobby. She said she’s not waiting for him to come around. Ever the gentleman Brody noted and complemented his friend on her “most revealing one-piece.” Stephanie clarified again that Audzo is single.

At this point, you know where this is headed.

BEER: Helping guys make bad decisions since 1927! Later, Frankie Delgado, Doug Reinhardt and some dude who calls himself Sleazy T teased Brody about Audrina, who told the girls that she’s crushin’ on Brody. Brody Jenner assured the guys that Audzo and he are just friends and that he was thinking about his girlfriend, Jayde Nicole, who was not present of course. During some late-night alone time, he sought to quell the sexual tension, until …

“I don’t want it to be awkward,” he said. “You are sweet and a good friend, but if we decide one night late with nobody around, well, feelings are feelings.”

Audrina Patridge didn’t emerge until morning.

Post walk-of-shame, she made no apologies for sleeping in Brody’s room. Doug called Brody out after he’d seen Audzo leaving his room at the crack of dawn.

He was rather nonchalant, however, considering this isn’t candid camera and he knows full well this secret would eventually be televised on The Hills.

Like Spencer Pratt with bartender Stacie, how does that not play into his thinking when deciding to hook up with some other girl? To be fair, we don’t know the extent of what happened that night, but it’s very, very odd.

Speaking of the Devil himself, back in Los Angeles, Spencer wasn’t pleased to hear that Heidi’s virginal ex Colby was going to town with his new girlfriend, but agreed to do dinner with the out-of-town couple anyway.

There, he rode Colby constantly about his devoutly religious ways.

“If I was a virgin,” Heidi’s now-husband opined, “I would be a mixed martial arts fighter or in Delta Force. I would die. You’re like hanging out with an alien.”

The bonding continued at that night’s Bible study, where Heidi thought he might learn something from her former flame’s ethics, which could then translate to being nicer to her and getting along better with her family.

While he did pay her ex some genuine compliments, Spencer noted that if he were to morph into Colby, Heidi would dump him in a week for being so dull.

All she could do was roll her eyes. Just another day in the life of the incomparable Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt. Oh, how we love to hate them so.

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