The Hills Recap: “Something Old, Something New”
The hour-long finale of The Hills began with Lauren Conrad and Lo Bosworth packing up their house. Guess now that Lauren is retiring from The Hills, she has to move out of the $2.2 million house MTV was paying for. Just kidding. Maybe.
The roommates decide to throw a final party for their closest friends.
What a perfect opportunity to stage awkward conversations about Spencer and Heidi’s wedding and tie up plot points bring the whole gang together for a fun time. Encouraged by Frankie Delgado to attend the upcoming Speidi wedding, LC responded with, “I’ll be at the next one.” Ohhhhh, snap, Spencer. No way she’s going now, right? Well, don’t be so sure. Because we already know she is. After all, Spencer Pratt is a changed man if you haven’t noticed. He even convinced Heidi Montag’s mom, Darlene, to give him her blessing. Impressive.
Brody Jenner, however, was not buying Spencer’s “nice guy” persona. “You have lost your mind,” Brody laughed during a guys’ lunch with his childhood BFF, who admitted going to marriage counseling. “I have a beautiful relationship with a beautiful girl. We have a great time – we don’t need to go to therapy!”
Notwithstanding cheating on Jayde Nicole with Audrina Patridge, sparking Audzo’s feud with Jayde that has dominated much of this spring, of course. Meanwhile, Heidi was in full wedding-planning mode. Too bad her maid of honor was the most inept, unstable and worthless maid of honor in history.
Amazingly, we are not talking about Stephanie Pratt! Heidi’s big sister Holly Montag had the big title and managed to mess it up at every turn. She didn’t write down the gifts Heidi got at her shower, gave a comically bad speech at the rehearsal dinner, and had an epic, drunken meltdown later.
Absolutely amazing showing, Holly.
Once the big day arrived, all anyone could talk about was whether LC would show up. And she did. A little awkwardly. Their exchange went as follows:
Lauren Conrad: “You’re getting married!”
Heidi Montag: “It’s crazy! And you’re here!”
Lauren Conrad: “I’m supposed to be.”
Read: Because the producers made her. Knowing she’s not returning to The Hills after this particular event, she can’t even hide her disdain and fake it. The guests at the wedding included Justin-Bobby, who clearly did not bother to shower, along with Perez Hilton, Spencer’s Nana and Heidi’s dad, Bill. Oh, and lightning rod Kristin Cavallari, who shockingly returned to the MTV payroll witness the nuptials of the couple she helped set up many years ago. As Lauren Conrad realized that she had been replaced, by Kristin Cavallari, on her own show, and reacted with what appeared to be legitimate disgust, her former rival successfully recaptured the spotlight in a matter of minutes.
She flirted with Justin-Bobby for reasons unknown, rubbed in Audrina’s face that she flirted with him for obvious reasons (no wonder Audrina hates her already), flashed do-me eyes at Brody, glared at LC and caught Heidi’s bouquet.
Oh, and Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag officially tied the knot. Hooray, we guess.
Download “Something Old, Something New” Episode
